Mindfulness meditation is a lifelong practice. If you make this commitment to practice, you need to know what is important to you. What is it that you value deeply? When you bear in mind what is most important to you, you wont be lost or betrayed in the heat or reactivity of a particular moment. Every moment is an opportunity to practice!
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
How I react when I do something wrong
I received an email from an online review system that I'm a member of, advising me that they would be removing my latest review. My first reaction was surprise. I often post on this site and pride myself for my reviews. What had I written that was so offensive that it had been flagged and removed?
Turns out, I had written nothing offensive at all, in fact, I had written an update to a review that didn't contain first hand experience, and therefore, violated their terms of posting. OK, no biggy.
But, my first reaction wasn't a "no biggy" response. What happened was my familiar pattern of bodily, thought and emotional response when someone tells me I did something wrong. Anger. My chest tightens, my breathing stops for a moment then becomes forced, my mouth clenches and my mind whirls. The anger only masks my real feelings- Shame. I'm ashamed when I feel I did something wrong. This is from childhood- it was a long discovery process to know this, but I know this. When I was young, I was often shamed into not doing something or into doing something better. I carried it into adulthood like we often carry childhood issues into our present lives.
The difference today from many other times when I've reacted this way in the past is that I noticed it was happening when it was happening. I immediately processed what was happening and called myself out on it. "Nikki, you're angry because you feel ashamed." Because I did this, I was able to make a different choice about how I was responding and how I was going to experience this. This awareness is not new, but the choice-making part is. Today was the first time I was able to immediately let it go. As soon as that happened, my body relaxed and my breathing was normal.
How do you react when you feel you did something wrong? What comes up for you? How does it feel in your body? How do you respond to yourself or others in the situation?
Turns out, I had written nothing offensive at all, in fact, I had written an update to a review that didn't contain first hand experience, and therefore, violated their terms of posting. OK, no biggy.
But, my first reaction wasn't a "no biggy" response. What happened was my familiar pattern of bodily, thought and emotional response when someone tells me I did something wrong. Anger. My chest tightens, my breathing stops for a moment then becomes forced, my mouth clenches and my mind whirls. The anger only masks my real feelings- Shame. I'm ashamed when I feel I did something wrong. This is from childhood- it was a long discovery process to know this, but I know this. When I was young, I was often shamed into not doing something or into doing something better. I carried it into adulthood like we often carry childhood issues into our present lives.
The difference today from many other times when I've reacted this way in the past is that I noticed it was happening when it was happening. I immediately processed what was happening and called myself out on it. "Nikki, you're angry because you feel ashamed." Because I did this, I was able to make a different choice about how I was responding and how I was going to experience this. This awareness is not new, but the choice-making part is. Today was the first time I was able to immediately let it go. As soon as that happened, my body relaxed and my breathing was normal.
How do you react when you feel you did something wrong? What comes up for you? How does it feel in your body? How do you respond to yourself or others in the situation?
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
"All that anxiety and fear didn't help..." ~Book Recommendation ~ Happy Accidents by Jane Lynch
"As I look back, the road to where I am today has been a series of happy accidents I was either smart or stupid enough to take advantage of. I thought I had to have a plan, a strategy. Turns out I just had to be ready and willing to take chances, look at what's right in front of me, and put my heart into everything I do."
That is an excerpt from Jane Lynch's book titled Happy Accidents. It's about her journey in life, the ups and downs, and the insights she's gained. Really great read, check it out!
That is an excerpt from Jane Lynch's book titled Happy Accidents. It's about her journey in life, the ups and downs, and the insights she's gained. Really great read, check it out!
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Live your life like its Golden!!
This song by Jill Scott is inspirational! Listen and enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QCXr79Rkcw&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Presence
Over the last few weeks, I've been thinking a lot about presence. I've been working on becoming more present for the last couple of years with the aid of meditation and yoga. These practices help me with my awareness. If I'm more aware, then I can notice when I'm focusing too much on the past... on things I should've done, I could've done, or would've done. When I am present to each unfolding moment, I can let go of the past but also let go of my focus on the future... on what I'm going to do, how I'm going to do it, or when I'm going to do it.
Being present to me is freeing and allows me to slow down and enjoy each moment of my life more fully.
How do you practice presence?
Being present to me is freeing and allows me to slow down and enjoy each moment of my life more fully.
How do you practice presence?
Friday, February 17, 2012
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)